


A Matter of Lab Sanity

by viciouswishes



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-02
Updated: 2006-07-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3092081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciouswishes/pseuds/viciouswishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carson was a secret nerd and Rodney knew it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Matter of Lab Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: zortified  
> Setting: Post-"Duet."

Carson was a secret nerd and Rodney knew it. He didn't just accidentally ad lib phrases made for the original _Star Trek_ or knowingly smile when Rodney commented that at least they weren't fighting toasters. 

While Carson was passed out on an extra bed in the infirmary, Rodney hacked his computer. His excuse was that Miko had been complaining that no one had the precious 13 episodes of _Crusade_ , and if there was a remote possibility that Carson had them, it was a matter of lab sanity for Rodney to steal them. Rodney had seen Miko eyeing Parrish's misplaced hedge clippers a little too closely today. He really needed to return them to the botany lab. 

What Rodney didn't expect was an angry Carson standing over him. He didn't know that Carson knew enough about computers to- 

"I cannot believe this," Carson said. "No, I can believe this. I have private medical files on there. Confidential files, privy only to myself and my patients." His hair was standing up in a particularly cute sort of way. When Rodney had started thinking of Carson as cute, he wasn't sure. It had probably been when Carson nervously laughed at one of his sarcastic comments while sitting in the Antarctic chair. 

"I'm not looking for your patients' records." Rodney figured that Radek, the traitor, installed a hacking alarm on Carson's computer, probably in the name of medical security. Some annoying beeping that would surely wake him since Carson's laptop was almost always only a few feet away from him. If Rodney was going to hack the files, he was far more interested in Carson's notes about himself over which Atlaneans were passing around syphilis. Though that was better blackmail material than knowing the last time Elizabeth went in to have the mole under her arm checked. 

Carson's arms were firmly crossed. "That gives me a real sense of security. If you don't want my medical records, what do you want? Pretend that I'm not going to report you to Weir." There was no way that Carson was going to report him. He'd much rather drive Rodney crazy with diets and exercise. 

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Do you want bodies in the infirmary?" His lab had been more on edge with every passing hour. It was bad enough that the military had dragged one problem after another to their lab this week, but the Dedalus' visit had been pushed back another week. That meant no coffee or Snickers and no new video games or DVDs. Rodney also figured that there were probably a couple of scientists waiting for letters from home. Radek had mentioned something about his sister being pregnant again, and in his own on-and-off again correspondence with his sister, Rodney suspected that it was about time for her to send a letter. At this point, he can't quite remember how they made it a year without shipments from Earth. 

"I hardly see how anything on my computer could prevent you or the Colonel from regularly trying to kill yourselves." Carson moved closer to the laptop, attempting to see what Rodney had on the screen. His ears were turning red in frustration. 

Rodney snorted. He thought about pulling up some of furry porn someone in his lab seemed to enjoy. "I do not try to kill myself. I would be perfectly happy to sit in the safety of my lab. Far, far away from danger." He repositioned himself to block Carson's view. "Except not even my lab's safe, thanks to soldiers breaking things in two galaxies." 

Carson sighed. Rodney swore he saw Carson's eye twitching. "You're not looking for pornography, are you?" 

"That's your girlfriend's specialty," Rodney said. It came out sounding a little more jealous than he intended. (When Cadman had weaseled her way onto the file sharing network - thanks to ladies' poker night - no one had complained when she doubled the amount of porn on it.) 

"She's not my girlfriend." Carson's rapid-fire, defensive response seemed to indicate that paradise with a sadistic girlfriend wasn't so luscious after all. 

"Funny because I saw you two in the mess, giggling over your lunches." They had been giggling like two schoolgirls gossiping. It made Rodney's stomach turn. Rodney's entire interest in Carson was Cadman's fault and her stupid kiss. 

"Laura and I are friends. You do know what friends are? Those people that you spend time with sharing a laugh over lunch," Carson said. He kept moving closer to Rodney as if eventually Rodney was just going to have to move out of the way. No likely. 

"Of course, I know what friends are. I do have a few." 

"Yes, the genial Rodney McKay, the most popular physicist on Atlantis." 

"Next time the Wraith attack, I'll be sure to take a vacation." Rodney glared at Carson's reflection in the laptop screen. He was trying to save Carson (and Dr. Heightmeyer) an excess workload of scientists on the edge of nervous breakdowns and hair-pulling, shear-stabbing fights; Rodney didn't appreciate being chewed out for it. Though taking a second glance, Carson looked a little pale. Well, he deserved his guilt for his uncalled for outburst. 

Carson sighed and sat down on the stool next to Rodney. Just as Rodney was about to open his mouth, Carson said, "Perhaps I was a bit sharp." 

"Is that an apology?" Rodney turned toward Carson. "I didn't quite hear the sorry part." 

"Because there wasn't a sorry. I believe you're still snooping through my computer." Carson looked like he was at his wit's end and resigned to being that way. The crow's feet around his soft eyes stood out in a way that made him look tired, but also complacent to Rodney's snooping and truly apologetic for his snapping. Carson's comment wouldn't have stung so much if Rodney hadn't considered Carson among his friends and also rather attractive. He really needed to stop thinking about kissing Carson. 

Rodney took a PowerBar from his pocket and started munching on it. Food had always been a good distraction when it would've been far too easy to lean over and taste Carson's lips. 

Carson sighed again. "What were you in my computer for?" 

"Looking for _Crusade_ ," Rodney said. "Miko's been driving everyone insane in the lab with her whining and crush on Daniel Dae Kim. Seriously, she tried to get Radek to watch _Lost_ with her because her fake tv boyfriend apparently took his shirt off." 

"So it's out of your good will." Carson smiled. The smile just made him that more attractive and light up the way Atlantis did when those with the ATA gene entered the room. Rodney liked that he could make Carson do that. "Are you sure you're not the one with a crush?" 

Rodney tapped his fingers impatiently on his desk. Even hooked into the Ancient technology, computers were still too slow. "No. Why would I waste my time daydreaming about some actor, who's probably straight, when I could be saving the galaxy?" 

"I thought you were going to take a vacation next time the galaxy was in danger," Carson said. At this point, Rodney was pretty sure that Carson was flirting with him. It sounded like flirting. But Rodney didn't like crossed signals; not since the time he was punched in the nose at 15 for mixing up friendship and attraction. "I've heard that Hawaii's a nice place to visit, and Nurse Chapel informs me they film _Lost_ there." 

"First of all, I'm not-" Rodney paused. "There's no Nurse Chapel on Atlantis, Carson. You ripped that off of _Star Trek_ , just like the rest of your lame lines. You're the one that's a giant nerd who has his mother taping the new _Dr. Who_ episodes. She'll probably slip it in a package for you, right next to your Sheridan teddy bear. I was right to search to your computer since you can't seem to share." As Rodney looked at Carson's disappointed face, he realized that he probably just could've asked Carson if he had the episodes. But somewhere between grabbing the last of the jell-o and seeing Carson with Cadman, Rodney had decided that hacking Carson's computer was better than talking to him. And now Rodney had most likely ruined all the potential flirting. 

"I think I know how to share, Rodney," Carson said. His voice was softer and friendlier than Rodney expected. 

Rodney slightly tilted his head and crossed his arm. "Prove it." But before Rodney could move out of the way to give Carson access to the computer, he felt Carson's mouth on his. He froze. Not because he didn't want Carson; he did very much. It was their second kiss, only this time it was Rodney who was surprised. 

Carson pulled back, disappointment across his face. His hands slowly lifted off Rodney's biceps. "It seems I'm not the only one who can't share." 

"Carson, shut up." Rodney wrapped his arms around Carson and pulled him back in for another kiss. A proper kiss, one with tongue. He was a good kisser too. Rodney knew that Carson was a big nerd, but that was okay as Rodney liked nerds. After all, he was one too.


End file.
